Canth Clroy

So I go to the local grocer and the line is going down the beer aisle. And this is the express lane! But we patiently stand there. A second cashier opens up at the service desk and starts calling people over from the express line one at a time. At this point this tall bald obnoxious guy shows up and seriously starts yelling at the grocery store people to open more lanes. Then he sees that there is one person in the service desk line. Now remember, there is one line for both cashiers. People have been just going one at a time to whichever one is open. When the obnoxious tall bald man sees there is just one person in line by the service desk he pushes through everyone and then stands there making open-mouthed faces at us. Several people try to explain to him that he just cut everyone because we’ve been going to both cashiers but he’s so excited at “outsmarting” all of us that he can’t get it through his head that he just cut everyone and that he looks like a fool. I wanted to toss the package of brats I had just bought at him but then I wouldn’t of had anything for dinner. The woman next to me wanted to do much worse. The sad thing is, this guy left the store still thinking he was so darn smart and the rest of us were so darn stupid to be standing in line. I don’t like the obnoxious tall bald man and hope to never see him again.

Every now and then I like to tick myself off by watching the end of Star Trek: Generations. This movie had so much potential and Paramount blew it with that ridiculous story and stupid ending. You just don’t kill Kirk. Yesterday was one of those days. I watched it and got mad all over again. I get over it quickly, but it still gets me.

I really thought I’d have more to post in here but I don’t really seem to have much to say. The other day I was at a tailgate and I found a piece of ice which I gave to a friend of mine. He threw it at another guy who happened to be walking by and the piece of ice got stuck in the guy’s glasses. What are the odds?

If you have a cloudy pool(green or not)5,000 gallons or less here are the easy to follow steps for restoring your pool to crystal clear goodness.

Step 1. Make sure you have a brand new filter cartridge.

Step 2. Purchase some Floc and Clear. Yup, that’s what it’s called. Say it out loud. Call the store and say “Do you have any Floc and Clear.” More effective if you slur the last three words.

Step 3. Purchase some Algaecide.

Step 4. Purchase some Shock (Super chlorine!)

Step 4. Run your filter for eight hours straight. Add Floc and Clear, Algaecide and Shock! Occassionally stop the filter and clean the cartridge with a hose.

Step 5. Repeat above steps three times.

Step 6. Come home to find your wife has dumped the pool and refilled it.

Just like that the water is crystal clear.

This really works.

The other day which wasn’t all that long ago I asked one of my kids if they’d seen any bandits. It was probably the fifth or sixth time I’d asked her that question. She responded with this…

“No, I didn’t see any bandits. And I don’t think they exist.”

Bandits do exist.

What’s the difference between a sliver and a splinter? I don’t know. Maybe one is under the skin, or perhaps one is bigger than the other.

“Ouch, I got a splinter.”
“That’s no splinter, that’s a sliver.”

Sliver sounds smaller than splinter.

Ted Williams was the Spendid Splinter. That’s not a bad nickname. Heck of a lot better than the Splendid Sliver which makes no sense. Not that Splendid Splinter makes sense. I guess it was something to do with being skinny and a good (splendid) hitter.

Anyway, I am curious what the difference is. I looked them up in the dictionary and found no difference so perhaps there isn’t any.

Things that are wrong. Discuss…

Yesterday I noticed a sign outside of a bank near our house. I thought it was a new sign and said so. Turns out the sign has been there for two years. That happens to me a lot.

I also went to buy gas yesterday and the pump wouldn’t let me pick the gas type I wanted. It kept selecting diesel. That doesn’t happen to me a lot.

So sometimes things happen a lot, and sometimes they don’t.

There is something voyeuristic about Hurricane coverage. The people that are experiencing the hurricane frequently don’t have power so they can’t watch TV. So all the coverage is for the benefit of people that are not experiencing the storm. It’s kind of like the blackout. We were in the blackout. We didn’t see any of the coverage.

OK, so yesterday the kids and I are playing Simon Says in the mini-pool. Canem goes first, then I went and then Canso. Canso is going through the routine… “Simon says touch the bottom of the pool”, “Simon says touch your head”, “Simon says jump up and down” then, out of the blue, she says “Simon says bite Dad on the leg.” So then the two of them start coming after me. Some time later she finally gives in and it switches to Canem’s turn. So she runs through a few Simon says routines and then she says “Simon says, be like a statue” So I be like a statue. Then she says “Simon says, bite Dad on the leg.” So I start swimming away and she tells me I have to be like a statue. Forget that routine. So for the next like 10-15 minutes the two of them are coming after me trying to bite me on the leg. I felt like I was in a pool with two mini-zombies.

It was hard work staying away. At one point I suggested that they come up with a plan so they huddle and then Canso comes over to me and says “Dad, I want to have some close your eyes time with you.” I sent them back to think of a better plan.

Eventually they got me.